Survival Guide: Being Single at a Wedding

So it’s wedding season and if you’re like us you have probably already been to what seems like a million weddings this summer (4 or 5). Weddings are a great time filled with joy, new chapters, and good times with family and friends. On the other hand weddings can cause massive amounts of stress and remind you of your loneliness. Being single at a wedding can pretty hard, so we asked two experienced wedding goers their thoughts and tips to survive being single at a wedding.

I’m single at a wedding, what should I do?

MAGGIE: All my single ladies! Let’s be real for a second: being single at a wedding can suck. Like, really. We would never ever admit that to the bride, because we really are happy for them. Really. And who wants to be a downer at a wedding? But sometimes we can’t help how alone weddings make us feel.

SAM: Maggie is right; being single at a wedding does suck. Going without a date sounds really lame, but let’s be real here for a second, what would you being doing if you didn’t go to the wedding? Going to the wedding sounds a lot better than another Saturday watching ESPN or playing video games? Get out there and meet some people, have some fun with friends.

Here’s the deal: Weddings are fun, you know it and I know it. So whether you didn’t get a plus one or she’s just not coming, (yah I know, we all have that story) this blog is how to make the wedding you’re going to an awesome one.

Wait, but I’m single?

MAGGIE: Being single at a wedding can be difficult. I am here to tell you that it’s okay! It’s okay to want a wedding of your own. It’s okay to feel lonely in the midst of so much happiness. What’s not okay is to make someone else’s day all about you. Don’t be that person. Jealousy is the worst of emotions; try your best to be happy for others! This is the bride and groom’s day; you can feel depressed tomorrow.

SAM: While being single can have its ups and downs, this blog is not addressing that, it’s addressing what to do when you’re Single at a Wedding. Sorry I’m not as nice as Maggie… Next Question.

My relatives are bound to ask at the wedding: Are you seeing anybody???

MAGGIE: Another challenge is having to field the questions from nosey relatives. “Are you seeing anybody?” “No. Thanks for reminding me.” When I start getting these questions from Aunt Mildred, I try to change the subject to something cool about me. “No, but did you hear about my trip to South Africa this summer?” If you can talk about your strengths, your achievements, your best qualities, it serves as a reminder to both you and them that you’re a unique, talented, fascinating individual. Who does not need a boyfriend, thank you very much.

SAM: Try to stay away from that sob story about the one girl that got away. As much as everybody wants to feel sorry for you, dude, the question wasn’t why it’s not YOU getting married today. That’s not what they asked. Skip over the sob story and tell them about your life….only the good parts that you want to tell, especially if it’s your relative ????

Wait, but what about the Dancing?

MAGGIE: The hardest part for me about being single at a wedding is the slow songs. It can feel very lonely to watch all the happy couples on the floor. I usually look around for a little kid, or for a good friend, to go dance with me. Three year olds usually don’t turn you down, and it’s more interesting than dancing with a date anyway!

SAM: Make frequent inconspicuous trips to the drink line…. Jk jk!
Let’s be real here, you can’t dance, and neither can I. But then again, why should that matter? Get out there and pop some belt buckles and dance! Pick a few songs to have fun with. If you can’t find a dance partner for the slow songs… who cares? You didn’t like that song anyway.
(On a side note, chances are there are more single women than men at these weddings, so if you really want a dance partner, you’ll get one!)

Who am I going to talk to? I don’t know anybody?

MAGGIE: Chances are, you don’t know a lot of people at the wedding. There are so many friends and family of the bride and groom to meet! Talk with the older couples… weddings are a great time for reminiscing, and you may hear some great stories. Talk with the little kids… they know how to have fun! Talk with people your own age… maybe you will make a new friend. You won’t know if you don’t put yourself out there! And chances are there are other singles out there who’d love to have some company.

SAM: Weddings do get a lot of interesting characters. And chances are, the friend who invited you really won’t get to spend much time with you. That being said, its time to meet some new friends! Remember that crazy uncle jack whose funny when he gets drunk that the groom was telling you about? Now’s your chance!

Weddings are so long! What am I going to do the whole time?

MAGGIE: Just dance. It’s a wedding, for crying out loud. So get out on that dance floor and shake it. It’s hard to feel sad and lonely when you’re grooving to your favorite song. And everyone will thank you for being the brave soul to start the party. Nothing’s worse than awkward parties where no one’s dancing. Be the bold one!

SAM: Make an awesome toast and tell stories: Every wedding has that guy that has the funniest story about their friend in college that no one has heard. This is your chance to shine. No matter how poorly you tell it, it’s pretty hard to Flop here. It’s your Job. It’s expected of you.

MAGGIE: Take a break. Sometimes we need to step back from it all. Weddings are full of all sorts of emotions. Step out for a second when you need to. It’s okay. No one’s judging.

SAM: Yeah I know, talking to people isn’t your strength, but you’re not better at watching TV or Netflix than anybody else either, yet you spend hours on end doing it. Go out and meet somebody new!
Random tips and advice?

MAGGIE: Embrace it. You’re young, you’re single, and you’re looking really good. Own it! Let’s face it, we’re the most fun people at the wedding. We’re the ones who can get everyone out on the floor, whose bodies can still recover from large quantities of alcohol, who know all the lyrics to that karaoke rap song, who don’t have to be looking out for anybody else. We have no responsibilities. Why not enjoy it? And weddings are just really expensive parties, anyway.

SAM: Make it your friends’ day, I know that we’ve said it a billion times, but I’ll say it again. You’re here because he/she invited you to share in this moment. However you’re involved in their lives, they appreciated you enough to want you to share in this moment. When they kiss, you better be clapping like there’s no tomorrow. When they walk into the reception, you’re the loudest whistler there. Whatever you do: celebrate this day for them.

MAGGIE: Don’t flirt with the groomsmen. We are not clichés, ladies. We are not desperate! Yes, they’re wearing nice expensive suits and are probably looking very dashing. But they’re there for the groom, not to find a girlfriend. Get to know them, talk with them, sure. But don’t start blushing or anything.

Last Words?

MAGGIE: Most of us have dreamed about our wedding day since we were little. I’m a part of the Disney generation: I was a Princess for Halloween almost every year of my childhood. I’m raised on all this romantic stuff. I have a fully-planned wedding on Pinterest. And watching most of my friends get engaged can be really heartbreaking. I sometimes wonder if I missed the moment when everyone else found their soul mate. Maybe I overslept that day? Whatever happened, I wasn’t a part of it. But just because I haven’t reached a happily ever after moment yet doesn’t mean I should deny someone else their moment. And to spend someone else’s wedding feeling sorry for myself is really a poor use of time. And anyways, weddings are a blast! Why not let myself have a ton of fun? To support my friends and family on their big days, to dance and sing and meet a few new people, to dress up and have a good time… I don’t need a boyfriend to do any of that.

SAM: Remember in Elementary School when you were jealous that your buddy across the street had a birthday party and jealous that he got all those presents? Your big party with your special someone will come someday. I’d like to think most of life is circular, what you put into your friends’ wedding will be put into yours’ by others. And when it does, your friends: whether married or single will dance and party with you just like you have done for everybody else.

Now get out there and show everyone how awesome being single at a wedding can be!

Facts about the authors: challenge which are Sam and which are Maggie:
1) I was a revolutionary war reenactor: as the flag bearer.
2) I still like to go swing on swing sets.
3) I sometimes Google translate phrases into random languages.
4) I don’t know how to drive a stick shift.

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